Breadth or Depth .. What is the Answer

I have never been in one place, job, or relationship to develop any depth of experience. In my blog on August 13, 2009 “Child of Change” I shared that I have moved 25 times in 54 years, attending 13 schools, four colleges and 17 jobs. This certainly does not lend the opportunity for depth. I do, however, possess breadth, a board brush of life.

Is this a bad thing? I am not sure. When I landed in Milwaukee some 30 years ago I remember I had a hard time fitting in. I had always been with people just like myself, military dependents. We shared a transient upbringing and change was no big deal to us. Our time spent and our conversations were filled with diversity and experiences. It was exciting to learn what another had learned and to share with another. Friends would come and go and there was always something new going on. The one constant was a friend and their family was short term and soon there would be someone to fill their place.

Now that I am in Milwaukee I was faced with an environment where people’s horizons expanded a five block radius. Their children, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, bothers and sisters all lived within that same radius. All social functions revolved around family gatherings, weddings, funerals, graduations, or impromptu dinners. There were no opportunities to spend time with a new friend as they were always obligated to the family. These people also had generational succession within companies. The Grandfather, Father, Son, Brother and so on all worked together. They had depth with work and family but not breadth. I couldn’t relate to them and neither could they relate to me. At that time I had moved 13 times, had lived in five different states and two different countries. I had breadth but not depth.

This disparity shortened through the years as I tried to adapt. I got married, had children and got involved within the community. I have often wondered if I missed out on a normal life. Well maybe normal is not the right word, how about a life filled with structure, routine and complacency. The question now is, do I want to fit in? Fitting in is not so important to me any more. I think it is because I have become comfortable in my own skin.

I have had one long relationship since I have been in Milwaukee and it is with my Mother-in-Law. Through the years I have learned that she and I have a lot in common. We both have had a transient upbringing, we both married the same type of man and we both have the same type of relationship with our children. I have enjoyed our many conversations through the years and our time spent. She has been a very special friend considering the dynamics around us and we are both comfortable in our own skin.

So my question today is, how do I package my experiences both personally and professionally to reinvent myself for the next stent of my life. The one element I would like to include is change.

Any thoughts out there???