This is a story that circulated around the office many years ago. I thought it was appropriate for the eve of our first snow storm. Enjoy!
December 8
6:00pm It has started to snow The first of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down all over the area. It was BEAUTIFUL!!
December 9
We awoke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What fantastic sight! Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later the snow plow came along and covered up our sidewalk with compacted snow from the street, so I shoveled it again.
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Oh well, I am sure we will get some more before the winter in through.
December 14
It snowed 8 inches last night and the temperature dropped to 20 degrees below zero. Shoveled the driveway and sidewalk again and the snow plow came by and did its trick again.
December 15
Sold my van and bought a four wheel drive so I can drive in the snow and bought snow tires for my wife’s car.
December 17
Still cold, below zero, and icy roads make it tough to drive. Also fell on my ass from ice on the sidewalk leaving the house.
December 20
Ad 14 inches of the white shit last night. More shoveling is in store for me today. The goddamn snow plow came by twice.
December 22
We are assured of a white Christmas because 13 inches of the white shit fell today and with this freezing weather it won’t melt till August. Got all dressed to go shovel (boots, snowsuit, heavy jacket, scarf, earmuffs, and gloves) once I got outside I had the urge to pee!!
December 24
If I ever catch that son-of-bitch that drives that snow plow I will drag him through the snow by his balls. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100mph and throws snow all over what used to be my lawn.
December 25
MERRY CHRISTMAS! They predict 20 more inches of the F@#&@ white shit tonight. Do they know how many shovels full of snow 28 inches is? The snow plow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with the snow shovel.
December 26
We got the 28 inches and then some. I must be going snow blind or have a severe case of cabin fever because my wife is beginning to look good to me.
December 27
The toilet froze. If you go outside look out for the yellow snow!
December 28
The house if for sale. Heading south……
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
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