The 360 of Life

This summer I participated with a group of recruiters who were organizing an event called the Milwaukee JobCamp. The purpose of this event was to assist people with learning the skills necessary for searching for a job. There were sessions on Resumes, Interviewing, Social Media, Dress for Success, and round table discussions.

During this project I met and worked with many dynamic people, Jayne being one of them. Her role in this project was to secure paying sponsors for the event. She is a gifted Salesperson and her efforts in generating sponsorship contributed to the overwhelming success of the event. I really enjoy Jayne’s energy as she is very thought provoking, a passionate learner for varying points of views and opinions, an adjunct professor at UWM and a great person to know. Like many of us, Jayne too is unemployed.

Last Saturday night Jayne invited me over to visit with her and a couple of her friends, Karen and Terri. As it turns out we are all unemployed and life is lean for all of us. We came with wine, of the price point of Two Buck Chuck, and Jayne put out a bowl of almonds. So, here we are, a bunch of 50 some-things too broke to go any where sitting in a Eastside Flat eating stale nuts and drinking cheap wine. Who would have thought? A year ago we were downtown, dressed to the nines drinking martinis, fine dining, and going to the theater.

It is an amazement how quickly life can change. Instead of commiserating about our circumstance we instead had a good ole girlfriend night. We talked and talked, played with our camera phones, watched Jayne monitor her son’s whereabouts on a GPS link between their phones and drank some more wine and talked some more. Jayne does Astrology so we moved to her study and played with the stars throwing out birth dates of husbands, boyfriends, children and each other. The only thing missing was a Ouija board. Instead of a bunch of 50 some-things it was like we were 12 again. It was a lot of fun. The only thing that interrupted this moment was when the pizza delivery man came and we instantly went into cougar mode. What cute honey… hum hummm

Breadth or Depth .. What is the Answer

I have never been in one place, job, or relationship to develop any depth of experience. In my blog on August 13, 2009 “Child of Change” I shared that I have moved 25 times in 54 years, attending 13 schools, four colleges and 17 jobs. This certainly does not lend the opportunity for depth. I do, however, possess breadth, a board brush of life.

Is this a bad thing? I am not sure. When I landed in Milwaukee some 30 years ago I remember I had a hard time fitting in. I had always been with people just like myself, military dependents. We shared a transient upbringing and change was no big deal to us. Our time spent and our conversations were filled with diversity and experiences. It was exciting to learn what another had learned and to share with another. Friends would come and go and there was always something new going on. The one constant was a friend and their family was short term and soon there would be someone to fill their place.

Now that I am in Milwaukee I was faced with an environment where people’s horizons expanded a five block radius. Their children, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, bothers and sisters all lived within that same radius. All social functions revolved around family gatherings, weddings, funerals, graduations, or impromptu dinners. There were no opportunities to spend time with a new friend as they were always obligated to the family. These people also had generational succession within companies. The Grandfather, Father, Son, Brother and so on all worked together. They had depth with work and family but not breadth. I couldn’t relate to them and neither could they relate to me. At that time I had moved 13 times, had lived in five different states and two different countries. I had breadth but not depth.

This disparity shortened through the years as I tried to adapt. I got married, had children and got involved within the community. I have often wondered if I missed out on a normal life. Well maybe normal is not the right word, how about a life filled with structure, routine and complacency. The question now is, do I want to fit in? Fitting in is not so important to me any more. I think it is because I have become comfortable in my own skin.

I have had one long relationship since I have been in Milwaukee and it is with my Mother-in-Law. Through the years I have learned that she and I have a lot in common. We both have had a transient upbringing, we both married the same type of man and we both have the same type of relationship with our children. I have enjoyed our many conversations through the years and our time spent. She has been a very special friend considering the dynamics around us and we are both comfortable in our own skin.

So my question today is, how do I package my experiences both personally and professionally to reinvent myself for the next stent of my life. The one element I would like to include is change.

Any thoughts out there???

Doing the Right Thing

In any industrial loading dock in any city is a man named, Joe. Joe is second generation European decent living in the USA. He brings with him strong values, morality, and pride. One day Joe came to work on the loading dock sporting a black-eye. When his co-workers saw the black eye they began to heckle him. “Hey Joe, did your girlfriend give you that black-eye?” “Hey Joe, did your Mama smack you?” After enduring much ribbing about his black-eye he decided to tell his fellow co-workers how he got his black-eye.

Joe said, “Being a good Christian boy I went to church on Sunday. I listened to the priest, prayed, and sang. Sitting in front of me was this bigga fat lady. I noticed that every time this bigga fat lady stood up to sing her dress was stuck in the crack of her ass. Well like a good Christian boy I leaned over and pulled the dress outta the crack of her ass. POW! she smacked me in the face.” Joe’s co-workers were just besides themselves and heckled Joe for days. Joe just kept to his work and ignored them.

The following Monday Joe comes to the loading dock very quiet, keeping his head down. Joe’s co-workers were standing shooting the shit about what they did over the weekend. Joe usually is right with them in a spirited exchange of brags but this Monday Joe went right to his station. The co-workers began to hassle Joe and when Joe looked up he had another black-eye. Oh, this was too much for the co-workers to bare and could not pass up the opportunity to give Joe a hard time again. As usual Joe could only take so much of the unrelenting borage of teasing.

Joe said,” O.k O.K I’ma gonna tell you once and only once what happened. Being a good Christian boy I went to church on Sunday with my good friend, Ernie. We listened to the priest, prayed, and sang. Sitting in front of us was this ah same bigga fat lady. We noticed that every time this bigga fat lady stood up her dress was stuck in the crack of her ass. Wella I know that she doesn’t like it when you try to help her so I just let it alone. When I had my eyes closed singing my heart out my friend Ernie leaned over and pulled the fatta ladies dress out of the crack of her ass. I knowa that she doesn’t like that so I quickly stuffa it right back. POW!