So you want to be a consultant

This morning I was flipping through a stack of business cards looking for my doctor’s phone number. As I was going along I paused at some of the recently acquired business cards from the Milwaukee JobCamp. These business card were of people who are in career transition just like me and like many others. I saw a few things that caused me to reflect.

The business card seemed to be a replication of the corporate roles and functions they recently held. This made me think…if they were let go from their position wouldn’t that role and function be extinct? Would there really be consulting opportunities? My mother in law who is a salty late 70‘s brought something to my attention. She asked, of these people you are meeting, are they people who will hire you? Well no, they are not people who will hire me. I started thinking about this. If we are starting consulting businesses offering services as the same job role and function we had when were employed, I wonder if we are having a hard time moving forward. We are becoming consultants where the landscape is changing. It seems we are still the round peg but the hole is becoming square and our hamster wheel as a different address.

What I see is this economic downturn has people thinking entrepreneurially. We know we don’t want to go back to where we were…the Grade A, all American, 6x6 cubical with the same hamster wheel day. Yet we are going with what we know and that is the past role and function. People are establishing businesses, setting up websites, buying business cards, networking with others who are doing the same thing and not making money either. Well enough money to sustain on. My question is, are we happy? Do we have the grit to build something that is possibly not our true passion?

I can’t believe someone’s real passion is corporate vision, strategic planning, team leadership, communications, and product and business development, process methodology and so on. I know it is not mine. This is what we left and this is what we don’t want to go back to. Lets let go because those positions that were considered discretionary are not there and will not fuel an income. So where is the money? I don’t mean to be a pessimist but really, what has networking, LinkedIn, and setting up your own consulting business done for you lately? We are networking with like mindedness and are fueling each others delusions. It dawned on me who is making money…Vista print. The business card, the websites, the promotional materials, business must be booming!

It seems to me that all this entrepreneurial energy would be better spent on local commerce. Providing a product or service to the community of something that is a real passion. What is it that we have fun with and are really good at? I like croquet and I am good at it. You are probably thinking…croquet what the hell can you do with croquet? Well, I have an idea and it is something I loved as a kid and it is not around any more. I am keeping it to myself so no one steals it from me :~) My point is, don’t dismiss your passion because it seems dumb. Don’t measure it to others. I did that. I went online to see what others were doing with my passion and I got discouraged. Then I thought, damn it, that is them and not me. I have grit to follow my passion and it will be unique because it is my passion.

Once you find the thing that is fun and you do well turn it into a passion. Take all that corporate experience and knowledge and turn it inward instead of outward.

Make yourself your own client!

I dedicate this blog to my good friends Paula Hornbeck and Ryan Michael Galloway. Two very happy people who have followed their passions..

Chatter Chatter Chatter

Out of 300 million people 78 million are baby boomers…one third of the nations population. Commonly referred to as a pig in a python. (Ken Dykwal) As a boomer in the middle of the demographics it has been a wild and wondrous ride; do what you want, go for what you want and get what you want. We went from hippie to yuppie to the never ending line of greedy geezers. Here we are, no hair, no waist, no job, no retirement and no longer living large. We are all asking “What the hell am I suppose to do now?”

I am of a generation that was told to get a good job with a good company, work hard and retire with a pension. Well we all know how that turned out, we were merged, acquired, downsized, or the position has been eliminated. We landed on our feet and became very agile. We entered the five year plan where if you wanted a raise you changed jobs. Everything started moving fast and everyone was living large and change wasn’t so devastating, as long as the money was there. We all know how that turned out.

It seems to me we are being reminded of what is real and true. In away I thank the economic downturn; For bringing me closer to my friends and family. For slowing me down so that I can give my undivided attention. I am thankful for the new friends I have made in my networking efforts, the opportunity to learn, love, hope and be humble.

Humble is the biggest one. The titles are gone, the prestige and glory are gone it is just me. Who am I? I was once defined with titles and roles and now they are gone and I don’t know who I am. I have spent 13 months unemployed having personal epiphanies realizing what is true and real. I am still not quite sure whom I am or what I want to do. However, I know what I don’t want and that is to go back to those titles and roles. I have now realized how soulless my career has been working in a corporate office in a Grade A, all American, standard 6x6 cubical. I would leave every day and have no feelings of accomplishment. It was a trudge and I don’t want to go back.

Well here goes the mind chatter…how will you keep your house, how will you maintain your lifestyle, what about the dogs, what about, what about, what about. This is change and fear speaking to keep me away from my true reality. My last blog was about the Wild Hair and I ended with what would be real and true to me. So why am I still sitting here? Why am I still looking for work in the same ole same ole. Why do I make health insurance my excuse? I don’t know, maybe it is because it is 20 degrees outside and I don’t feel like it.

Chatter Chatter Chatter

What is my passion? Story Telling, I love to tell a story.
What are my strengths? Helping, Making it Happen
What are my weaknesses? Don’t believe in myself

If one of my strengths is making it happen then the big question is, what is holding me back from realizing my passion? Oh yeah, I don’t believe in myself. I am a smart person. Why can’t I realize my passion? Why am I following the noise? I guess I need to think about what I need to change. The opportunity will come once I make a change. So what is the change? I keep thinking I should sell the house but I like it here....Would someone please slap me silly?!

The Wild Hair

Do you ever feel like chucking it all and making a left turn? How do you know when that time has arrived? Are the reasons to not make that turn valid?

There was a time when the wild hair lived and breathed and life was fun, free, and easy. It was fun to pick up and make a change or just do something different. I have moved 25 times in my life, this averages a move every two years. Living at the same address for nine years has dulled the wild hair and compliancy is beginning to rub it the wrong way.

In an effort to get back to where I was (a grade-A all American corporate cubical) I keep getting the same results. This is the definition of insanity. I am trying to be someone I no longer am. I am trying to duplicate the past and the past is gone. So, what would the wild hair do? When the wild hair lived and breathed making a left turn was easy to do.

So what is the wild hair saying?

Put the house up for sale. Stop playing the games to be played to maintain compliancy. Cash out, pay off debts and hit the road and take that left turn.

The Second Interview

Yesterday I had a second interview for a position that has three roles all melded into one…Application Analyst, Business Analyst, and Project Manager. The first interview was with the hiring manager, Sandi. We had a good meeting and both of us parted feeling encouraged about the fit. This was confirmed when I received a call the very afternoon requesting a second interview.

The second interview was scheduled for a week later. In the interim I developed viral laryngitis and could not speak without coughing. As I got closer to the date of the interview I realized that I would not be able to talk. I had no choice but to ask for an alternative date. I was very happy to get a call back with a new date and time.

It has been almost a year since I was last employed and this was the first second interview I have had during this time. Needless to say I started working myself up into a knot about the interview. I tapped into my resources for coaching in preparation of the interview, such as, what is the purpose of meeting with upper management, what is the purpose of meeting with the team and so forth. I got some very good advice and realized I needed to just relax and go with what I know.

I researched the company, took the job description, broke it down and filled in my experience for each requirement. There were several software programs that required experience so I researched each one and aligned them with my previous software experience. The long and short I don’t think I could have been any more prepared then I was for this second interview.

The day has arrived and my appointment is at 12:30. I left the house an hour and half early so that I could have a relaxing lunch at Panera’s . At I-43 and Good Hope traffic came to a stand still as the two left lanes were closed and traffic was merging. It took me 40 minutes to get from Good Hope to the Silver Spring exit. My relaxing lunch now turned into a mad dash. The good news is I managed to get something to eat and be on time for the interview.

The first meeting was with the team, Denise and Jan. The position was described to me as being administrative, providing software support, managing upgrades, implementations and deployments along with vendor management. While I was listening I started realizing I am potentially over qualified. Both Denise and Jan have been with the company for 30 yrs each and with that information I made some assumptions about the culture. We had a good discussion and on the way to my next appointment they stopped by and showed me the work area. One standard Grade-A cubicle.

The second meeting was with the Director of Information Systems, Gary. Gary has been with the company for 15 years, prior to that he was with a software development company for 21 years. This interview was more qualifying of my experience. When we reached my most recent positions and technologies I worked with I needed to explain what they were. I made the assumption he is old school technology and the company is old school technology. We had good conversations and Gary and I parted with an agreement the job requirements were understood.

This is the jest of the second interview. I had anticipated it, prepared for it, and stressed out over it and left feeling anti-climatic. This job is just like all the others which is just a means to an end. After not having a job for almost a year I was so very excited about this position only to realize it will kill my soul just like all the others did. I drove away with many thoughts racing through my head … what do you want, what will make you happy, am I being true to myself, can you just suit up and show up and ignore things. God! I haven’t worked in a year, I finally get closer to landing a job then I ever have and I am asking... Is this really what I want? Why? I need health insurance. So, in order to have health insurance the answer is to take a soulless job. Yes. In the current state of things beggars can not be choosers. I need to consider this job as a door and go with it.

However, funny thing…no offer has been made. I wonder what they are thinking?

December Snow in Wisconsin

This is a story that circulated around the office many years ago. I thought it was appropriate for the eve of our first snow storm. Enjoy!

December 8
6:00pm It has started to snow The first of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down all over the area. It was BEAUTIFUL!!

December 9
We awoke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What fantastic sight! Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later the snow plow came along and covered up our sidewalk with compacted snow from the street, so I shoveled it again.

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Oh well, I am sure we will get some more before the winter in through.

December 14
It snowed 8 inches last night and the temperature dropped to 20 degrees below zero. Shoveled the driveway and sidewalk again and the snow plow came by and did its trick again.

December 15
Sold my van and bought a four wheel drive so I can drive in the snow and bought snow tires for my wife’s car.

December 17
Still cold, below zero, and icy roads make it tough to drive. Also fell on my ass from ice on the sidewalk leaving the house.

December 20
Ad 14 inches of the white shit last night. More shoveling is in store for me today. The goddamn snow plow came by twice.

December 22
We are assured of a white Christmas because 13 inches of the white shit fell today and with this freezing weather it won’t melt till August. Got all dressed to go shovel (boots, snowsuit, heavy jacket, scarf, earmuffs, and gloves) once I got outside I had the urge to pee!!

December 24
If I ever catch that son-of-bitch that drives that snow plow I will drag him through the snow by his balls. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100mph and throws snow all over what used to be my lawn.

December 25
MERRY CHRISTMAS! They predict 20 more inches of the F@#&@ white shit tonight. Do they know how many shovels full of snow 28 inches is? The snow plow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with the snow shovel.

December 26
We got the 28 inches and then some. I must be going snow blind or have a severe case of cabin fever because my wife is beginning to look good to me.

December 27
The toilet froze. If you go outside look out for the yellow snow!

December 28
The house if for sale. Heading south……

My Thanksgiving memories…

When I was a child most of my holiday meals were at the mess hall. I am not sure what the reason was but I can only speculate. Maybe the commissary didn’t stock turkeys and all the fixings. Maybe the stoves in military housing couldn’t accommodate a turkey, or the turkey burned every year. Whatever the reason, we would get dressed in our Sunday clothes and go to the mess hall.

At the mess hall there was a special area for the dependent families. This doesn’t mean a special room it was just a sectioned off part of the hall. The tables were decorated with paper turkeys and pilgrims to commemorate the holiday. Now these tables were not the usual dining table with chairs, they were cafeteria tables. I remember how hard it was to straddle across the bench to set down for dinner. However, I have no memory of how my Mother did it in a pencil skirt. I guess I am left with a mental picture of a 30 something, 5’11” in heels and a pencil skirt straddling a bench. Anyway, back to my Thanksgiving eating memory. Once we had settled at our table we would wait till the chow line had diminished enough for us to go through. We would get our standard chow tray, plates and utensils and place them onto the tray slide. This was cafeteria style so you would hold out your tray and the cooks would place your dinner on the plates. There was no customizing…you got what you got.

I had no idea how delicious a home cooked Thanksgiving meal could be till I married into the Colloton family. Mrs. Colloton made the best turkey, gravy, potatoes, stuffing, pies, and macaroni and cheese. When dinner was over I was always amazed at how this woman could pick every morsel of meat off the turkey till the carcass was bone dry. It was quite the art form to watch. The next week it was all about turkey soup! Mrs. Newland could also make a mean turkey and the family would bring a cover dishes. Everything was yummy and the Newland boys were always entertaining.

So, if you are doing the math we are up to almost 40 years and I have yet to make a turkey dinner. This is probably a good thing as the only way I know to cook is mess hall style. What are your Thanksgiving memories?

The Art of Hanging out the Wash

The other day I was thinking about hanging out laundry and remember the day my Appalachia Grandmother learned me on the hanging out the wersh. (Smoky Mountain Accent)

This was 1967 and I was sent to live with my Grandparents till my Father was transfer from Andrews Base. At that time there was resentment towards the government’s mandate for integration. My Dad was not able to get on-base housing so we lived off base. I was in middle school and coupled with the normal trials of being in middle school I was harassed because my Dad in the service. The service being representative of the government. I was taunted in class, beat up in the girl’s bathroom and followed home from school. These were very turbulent times and my parents felt I would be safer in the South. So off I go to live with Rose and Ransom in Western North Carolina.

The first couple of weeks were fun to be at Grandma and Grandpa’s house without my parents and brother. I loved the attention. Then all the attention became too much as I was watched all the time. I couldn’t go any where by myself. I had to stay at the house. I began to think I was sentenced to hell having to live with these old people. I was registered to go to the local school but school didn’t start for three months. My Mother told me to be a good girl and make sure I help out my Grandmother.

One day my Grandmother asked me to go hang out the wash. Like any other 14 year old I took the basked of clothes and carried it like it weighted a ton. Once I made the long journey across the yard to the clothes line I began hanging up the clothes. I hung each article with the most anguishing effort. My Grandmother sat on the back porch and watched this entire dramatic display. When I was finished and came back to the house she told me I did it all wrong. I thought, Oh My Gosh, how can you hang up clothes wrong!?

This is when I learned on how to hang clothes on the line. You hang all your towels together, shirts together, socks together, pants together. The sheets go facing the road and under clothes are hung between each item on the line. This way no one can see them from the road. You NEVER! hang your under clothes together and she took all the clothes off the line and made me do it all over again.

I want it to be known that all my adult life when I hang clothes out I hang them just like I was taught.