Sliding Down the Chart

I feel myself slipping down the Maslow pyramid from self actualization right on down the chart to physiological needs. When I first entered my “career transition”, btw this is a bullshit term for being laid off, I have bounced up and down the chart. I first landed on safety needs because when I was given notice it made me feel incredibility unsafe. I came home and for weeks I sat in front of my computer frantically looking for another job. I was in a total state of panic ...how am I going to live, pay my mortgage, pay bills, eat, put gas in my car, afford COBRA ... I need to find a job! I felt very unsafe and as if I was falling without a net. The net I am suppose to have has been attacked several times with economic hiccups and my little nest egg has gotten cracked and fried.

The next landing was social needs. It is very difficult to not have the money to socialize with family and friends. I never lived an extravagant lifestyle but I did go out to dinner with several different groups of friends on a regular basis. I also attended professional chapter meetings, professional development seminars and continuing education classes. I have friends and family that live out of state and would travel to see them. I have had to give all this up and more. I feel isolated and disengaged from what is going on in the world. It is like I live in my own personal third world. I should take that back because as I set here whining in my pity pot there are those who are much worse off then me. I think I am back to feeling unsafe.

I am trying to stay off the self esteem rung but I am slipping in that direction. My confidence has been shattered as I continue to be socially and professionally isolated. Just a quick digression: After a 12 hiatus of being a stay at home mom I re-entered the work place. I first left in 1980 and re-enter in 1992 and it was like I had been gone for 30 years. Everything was different and there was something new…the computer. I almost stopped breathing when I learned that I had to go into the computer in order to be paid. I swore that I would never allow myself to be that far behind ever again. Even though it has only been 16 months since I last worked I am feeling like I could find myself 30 years behind again. Technology, trends, business models, corporate cultures, and things I don’t know about are racing forward at incredible speeds. Even when I worked I felted a little challenged to keep up with the pace. In these last 16 months I have done all the things you are suppose to do to land that next job. It took me almost a year to realize that what I did, IT Project Management Office, has greatly diminished if not become extinct. The direction IT is evolving to it beyond my scope. It is exciting with social media and cloud technologies but this would require me to re-tool. Well, I have already done this and graduated in 2003 with a degree in IT for the technologies at that point in time and btw, I am still paying off that student loan.

To keep my sanity and social outlet I have been working at a retail store. This has been a very humbling experience to say the least. It took me a while to come down off my corporate high horse and get into the real world. My first paycheck was a reality check as what I made in one day use to be my hourly rate. I know that I will never be back to where I was but surely there is an up from here. The longer this takes the less confidence I am having. So, I keep telling myself

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me! ...and I will keep on trying.

So you want to be a consultant

This morning I was flipping through a stack of business cards looking for my doctor’s phone number. As I was going along I paused at some of the recently acquired business cards from the Milwaukee JobCamp. These business card were of people who are in career transition just like me and like many others. I saw a few things that caused me to reflect.

The business card seemed to be a replication of the corporate roles and functions they recently held. This made me think…if they were let go from their position wouldn’t that role and function be extinct? Would there really be consulting opportunities? My mother in law who is a salty late 70‘s brought something to my attention. She asked, of these people you are meeting, are they people who will hire you? Well no, they are not people who will hire me. I started thinking about this. If we are starting consulting businesses offering services as the same job role and function we had when were employed, I wonder if we are having a hard time moving forward. We are becoming consultants where the landscape is changing. It seems we are still the round peg but the hole is becoming square and our hamster wheel as a different address.

What I see is this economic downturn has people thinking entrepreneurially. We know we don’t want to go back to where we were…the Grade A, all American, 6x6 cubical with the same hamster wheel day. Yet we are going with what we know and that is the past role and function. People are establishing businesses, setting up websites, buying business cards, networking with others who are doing the same thing and not making money either. Well enough money to sustain on. My question is, are we happy? Do we have the grit to build something that is possibly not our true passion?

I can’t believe someone’s real passion is corporate vision, strategic planning, team leadership, communications, and product and business development, process methodology and so on. I know it is not mine. This is what we left and this is what we don’t want to go back to. Lets let go because those positions that were considered discretionary are not there and will not fuel an income. So where is the money? I don’t mean to be a pessimist but really, what has networking, LinkedIn, and setting up your own consulting business done for you lately? We are networking with like mindedness and are fueling each others delusions. It dawned on me who is making money…Vista print. The business card, the websites, the promotional materials, business must be booming!

It seems to me that all this entrepreneurial energy would be better spent on local commerce. Providing a product or service to the community of something that is a real passion. What is it that we have fun with and are really good at? I like croquet and I am good at it. You are probably thinking…croquet what the hell can you do with croquet? Well, I have an idea and it is something I loved as a kid and it is not around any more. I am keeping it to myself so no one steals it from me :~) My point is, don’t dismiss your passion because it seems dumb. Don’t measure it to others. I did that. I went online to see what others were doing with my passion and I got discouraged. Then I thought, damn it, that is them and not me. I have grit to follow my passion and it will be unique because it is my passion.

Once you find the thing that is fun and you do well turn it into a passion. Take all that corporate experience and knowledge and turn it inward instead of outward.

Make yourself your own client!

I dedicate this blog to my good friends Paula Hornbeck and Ryan Michael Galloway. Two very happy people who have followed their passions..