Breadth or Depth .. What is the Answer

I have never been in one place, job, or relationship to develop any depth of experience. In my blog on August 13, 2009 “Child of Change” I shared that I have moved 25 times in 54 years, attending 13 schools, four colleges and 17 jobs. This certainly does not lend the opportunity for depth. I do, however, possess breadth, a board brush of life.

Is this a bad thing? I am not sure. When I landed in Milwaukee some 30 years ago I remember I had a hard time fitting in. I had always been with people just like myself, military dependents. We shared a transient upbringing and change was no big deal to us. Our time spent and our conversations were filled with diversity and experiences. It was exciting to learn what another had learned and to share with another. Friends would come and go and there was always something new going on. The one constant was a friend and their family was short term and soon there would be someone to fill their place.

Now that I am in Milwaukee I was faced with an environment where people’s horizons expanded a five block radius. Their children, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, bothers and sisters all lived within that same radius. All social functions revolved around family gatherings, weddings, funerals, graduations, or impromptu dinners. There were no opportunities to spend time with a new friend as they were always obligated to the family. These people also had generational succession within companies. The Grandfather, Father, Son, Brother and so on all worked together. They had depth with work and family but not breadth. I couldn’t relate to them and neither could they relate to me. At that time I had moved 13 times, had lived in five different states and two different countries. I had breadth but not depth.

This disparity shortened through the years as I tried to adapt. I got married, had children and got involved within the community. I have often wondered if I missed out on a normal life. Well maybe normal is not the right word, how about a life filled with structure, routine and complacency. The question now is, do I want to fit in? Fitting in is not so important to me any more. I think it is because I have become comfortable in my own skin.

I have had one long relationship since I have been in Milwaukee and it is with my Mother-in-Law. Through the years I have learned that she and I have a lot in common. We both have had a transient upbringing, we both married the same type of man and we both have the same type of relationship with our children. I have enjoyed our many conversations through the years and our time spent. She has been a very special friend considering the dynamics around us and we are both comfortable in our own skin.

So my question today is, how do I package my experiences both personally and professionally to reinvent myself for the next stent of my life. The one element I would like to include is change.

Any thoughts out there???

We Need More Whistle Stops

I woke up this morning thinking about trains. I was remembering the sound of a train whistle from a coal train on its way to Canton’s paper mill. (Canton, NC) I was a little girl that was put down for a nap and refused to go to sleep. I would lay there and listen to the sounds outside. The birds, the dog down the street, my Grandmother cooking in the kitchen and the train whistle. I love this sound; it is so comforting to me. There is a train down the road from where I live now and every time I hear the whistle I go back to that moment lying in my Grandmother’s bed.


When I was a little older it was fun to sneak out at night and walk the tracks in the dark. I would be visiting my other Grandparents and there were train tracks right behind their house. I have a younger Aunt and Uncle that are my age and we were always agents of mischief. We would walk almost to Lake Junaluska and back; walking on the rails and skipping the tracks. It was a feeling of being free. Of course we were 10yrs old and doing something naughty. There is always excitement in that!

Recently I went to see my son who lives in Chicago. I made my trip an excursion by using public transportation the whole way. This required planning and time management. I live in a bedroom community to Milwaukee with freeway flyer transportation into the city. I did a little research and discovered there was a freeway flyer that would drop me off in front of the train station. So I coordinated the time of the bus drop off to the time the train pulled out of the station. My wait in the station was 5 minutes and ride to Chicago took about 45 minutes. I then walked across the street from Union Station and caught the Metro and took a 10 minute ride to the stop where my son lives. I had a really nice time taking the train and it was fun.

I was very pleased with myself and felt like a responsible citizen. I had someone ask me why I didn’t just drive. Claiming it would not have been so much trouble. This got me thinking, what trouble? So I did a little math and here are my results:

Time: Car -150 miles at 60mph = 2.5 hours
Time: Public Transportation = 1.5 hours

Cost: Car: 150 miles at 25 miles per gallon at $3.89 a gallon = $48.00 round trip
Additional consideration: maintenance and wear and tear
Cost: Public Transportation- $40.00 for Amtrak, $2.75 Freeway Flyer, $ 3.00 = $46.00

Stress: Car- Maximum – Rush hour, I-94 construction from Ryan Rd to the state line, constant attention to the road, toll road (don’t have enough change), the guy in front of me is really pissing me off to the point I just want to rip that fish off their trunk, “Shit” I just missed my exit, now where the “Hell” am I, can’t find my phone to call my son for new directions and ”Damn It “he never answers his phone he only does text messages, “Shit” now I have to pull over and text him and by the way I didn’t plan my trip I just got in my car to drive to Chicago and “Damn it” I need gas.

Stress: Public Transportation - Minimal - I was a passenger; I read my book, drank my coffee, closed my eyes and had polite conversation with someone interesting.

I have never understood why passenger train travel is so undesired. It makes so much sense to me. It is quick, it is efficient, and it is practical. Ah! HA! There it is, “Practical”. Why would we do something that is practical? We like the convenience and control over our lives no matter what the consequence. So why don’t we change? Oh Gosh, there is that word again, “Change”.


Mr. President, Let’s get this Health Care reform done and we can move on to improving our train systems.