Teresa's Brain on the Web

Personal Reflections on MLK Day

2012-01-16T07:50:00.000-08:00

It was the winter in 1967 when my Dad was stationed at Andrews Air Force Base Maryland, outside of Washington, D.C. The previous 10 yrs he had been stationed on military bases overseas where my fundamental years began. I lived with, went to school with and played with kids from all ethnic backgrounds. Where we lived, where we shopped, where we went the movies, the bowling alleys, went swimming, and so forth, and it didn’t matter. Everyone mixed together and it was acceptable. It never dawned on me that this wasn’t normal. I mean normal by my extended family’s standards back in the southern States.

In the spring of 1968 people in Washington, D.C. there very volatile. There were riots in D.C, fires being set to buildings, marches and a demonstration call Resurrection City. The adults in my extended family from Virginia, who lived on the other side of the Potomac River, would talk. I would hear some of the most hateful remarks. “That n**g*r preacher is stirring up all kinds of non-sense.” “Good, I am glad he got shot, maybe now those n**g*rs will settle down and go back home.” I remember during the 6 weeks of the Resurrection City demonstration it rained and rained. The news talked about the health issues and the outbreak of disease “these people” bring. The most hateful comment of all I heard, “This rain is God’s way to get rid of these n**g*rs”

In my young heart I knew these attitudes were not right. I dared to ask,” Why don’t we like them?” “Why can’t I be friends with them?” “Why do we have separate schools?” The answer was, “They are not our kind and get those thoughts out of your mind.” I was sent to live with my Grandparents in North Carolina where I wouldn’t have all the Northern influences. What they failed to realize was my influences were already set from my fundamental years.

Dr. Martin Luther King’s peaceful demonstration of Resurrection City brought the most impressive memory for me of those times. The perseverance, strength, conviction, fearlessness and peacefulness it took to endure that all men are created equal.

“All men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.” Declaration of Independence

Mailbox verses Snowplow

2011-04-14T18:44:00.000-07:00

The month of April brings a hugh sigh of relief, Winter is over. The snow is melted and buds are ready to burst everywhere. I paid attention one day to Winter's collateral damage...the mail box. They are leaning, broken, laying in the ditch and missing all together. I fell victim last Winter when a snowplow launched my mail box into the middle of my front yard. I am sure there is a calulation on, if the snowplow goes at X miles an hours and the blade is at Y angle = velocity. All I know it is the flying snow is strong enough to produce the scenes I have documented.

This is of my mailbox after being blown away by the snowplow. Oh yeah, the salt from years of snow removal did a nice job on the paint.

Most mailboxes sit on the road with a traumatized lean.

This is just plain pitiful.

Last year I learn from the Post Office Nazi that I have to have a mailbox. Really, it is Winter and the ground if frozen. When I asked for advice I was told to get a 5 gallon bucket and fill it with sand. Oh yeah, that worked. I spent the remaining Winter picking up my mailbox and setting it back by the road. Some of my neighbors used a 50 gallon drum.. it works so well they keep all year round.

This looks like the David and Goliath of the mailboxes. David is not looking so good. This is what happens when you use 5 gallon drum.

It is interesting to see how people try dealing with the snow velocity. Actually, I am thinking a good Spring rain storm and this mailbox is toast.

This apparently works because in all the 10 years I have live in Ozaukee County this mailbox has never moved.

You have to love it, "I dare you" approach. Classific, a target.

This is my mailbox here at the ranch. My new approach is a break away post. The hope is, when the snowplow comes down the road winging snow at breakneck velocity, only the top will take the brunt. In the dead of Winter it will be easier to brace the mailbox back on. This Winter past without incidence and I didn't have to test the theory. I am proud to say my mailbox has the best posture on the road.

Run Bambi Run

2010-11-21T17:49:00.000-08:00

Can't explain it but I have been haunted by Lawrencia's sentence of guilty. The summer of 1979 my boyfriend took me to a picnic in Lincoln Park. A friend of his owned the Tracks and this was the second year for his bar’s picnic. My boyfriend was very excited and said it would be fun and I wouldn't believe was I would see. He was correct I didn’t believe what I saw. There were lots of drinking, pot smoking, loud music and wet t-shirt contests. One of the contests was about to begin just as we arrived. People were putting together picnic tables to be used as a runway. There was a big crowd gathering around. T-shirts (white) were given to the woman who volunteered for the contest. Once they were wet they would strut up and down the tables gyrating in response to the crowd. While this was going I was looking around at the whole situation. When I looked behind me there were three Milwaukee City Police cars and the Officers were sitting on the hoods. The crowd was just wild and the woman who got naked was the winner. While this woman was naked I turned to see what the police were doing? Were they coming? Would I be arrested for being at a picnic where there were drugs and nudity? It was strange because the police were doing nothing. They were enjoying the naked woman just like everyone else. Later the guys had their turn and had a wet jock contest….guess who was the winner? The Shepherd Express published this article in the late 80's. As the Milwaukee Police Officers were watching one of their brothers was struting his stuff.

I always believed Lawrencia was innocent. Enjoy the article.

Gardening at the Ranch

2010-07-27T18:09:00.000-07:00

Last summer was my first attempt at growing a vegetable garden. The first lesson I learned, when you have a 10 x 10 area you need to carefully estimate space needed. I planted pole beans, three types of tomatoes, cucumbers, broccoli, brussel sprouts and okra. There was a turf war and the dominating plants were tomatoes, cucumbers, and pole beans and they choked out all the others. However, I ran blocker for the okra and it was on the survivor list.

This year I kept it simple and have one tomato plant, one pole bean, and the rest of the space is for the okra. If you know me you know I LOVE okra. When I lived with my grandparents in Waynesville, NC Paw Galloway introduced me to okra from the garden and Maw Galloway taught me how to prepare it. It has been my favorite vegetable ever since.

In Wisconsin we have a shorter growing season and last year my yield of okra was small. This year I started my seeds in the house on the window sill and transplanted outside mid-May. Yes, I know this was risky as we are still susceptible to frost. It is July now and I have a lush little crop.

The okra begins with a pretty flower and when it falls off the buds begins to grow.

My little helper dove in to help Grandma find some okra. I wondered what the view was like for him under the canopy of leaves so I went under myself. How very cool, the canopy of leaves made a cozy little hideaway. Shortly after he surfaced with an okra in hand!!

The harvest is a little lean right now so, I cut it up, coat it with cornmeal and put it in the freezer till I have enough for a meal. In a couple of weeks I will have a bushel of okra .... dinner on Sunday is at 1:00, see you then.

My little helper.

It's a Centipede!!!

2010-06-29T09:08:00.000-07:00

Many years ago I lived in the Bayview and always snickered passing by Marino’s Bar. There were retired patrons who would meet there and commiserate about the issue of the day. Each week they would come up with a little rhyming ditty. One week the ditty was,” If Noah was so wise then why did he save those two flies”? I have to ask that question but exchange fly for centipede. There is nothing that can strike such a level of fear, disgust and panic as this one simple bug. I mean I moved from the South where I was exposed to lizards, snakes, water moccasins, tree frogs, palmetto bugs, alligators and the such. None of those things compare to an encounter with a centipede.

This morning I had coffee, chatted on the phone, pursued the job boards and then went off to get ready for the day. I went to my bedroom and spent some time selecting what I was gonna wear for the day (get over it, it is a girl thing). I have a master bathroom so I went in to take my shower. I always enjoy a nice long hot shower and spent some time lully-gagging. I ended my shower, wrapped my hair in a towel and stepped out. THERE IT WAS!! Straight across the room on the wall up by the ceiling with the window and curtains just below it. It was a centipede! I dropped my towel and ran naked throw the house to get the fly swatter from the kitchen (Yes, the blinds were up). I got the fly swatter and luckily the damn thing was still where I left it. I moved the bed away from the wall but not to far that I couldn’t reach and kill it. I made sure I positioned the fly swatter in front of it because they move very quickly. I am so nervous that I will miss it and it will either fall onto my bed or God forbid on me! I am naked I have to have those thoughts. I aimed and with all my might I swatted and I GOT IT!!!! I think. I looked on top of the window frame and saw nothing. I shook the curtains and nothing. OH NO! Did I miss it? I did a little gig on the bed, afraid to move and at that time the wind blew the curtain past the window sill. There it was. My swat had blown off all its little legs and left a mangled up body on the sill. I scrapped it off onto the floor with the fly swatter and went to get the cat to eat the thing. Which, by the way, if one is in my bathtub I go get the cat, put her in the tub and she takes care of it for me. Good Kitty.

My Favorite Summer Solstice

2010-06-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

My Dad was stationed in Reykjavik, Iceland during the Vietnam War participating in ocean surveillance. This is old technology for listening and identifying enemy ships, types and locations. While as a child I didn’t know what he did nor did I care, I was having too much fun being a kid in a foreign land. I have many wonderful memories and the one that comes to mind is living in the land of the midnight sun. It was so cool to be out playing kickball, jumping rope, and hanging out with friends on the playground at 10:00PM with the sun is bright in the sky. The day before, the day of, and the day after the Summer Solstice the sun never set. It would be a constant sunset for a couple of hours and the sun would be back up for a sunny 1:30AM. This provided way more time to enjoy summer vacation before school started again.

However, my Mother hated it because she couldn't sleep will all the day light so she put tinfoil on her bedroom windows. It almost blinded the neighbors across the street with the reflection of the sun. Needless to say, the Winter Solstice was just the opposite and made it intriguing to be out playing after dark......3:30 in the afternoon. Very fun times in a foreign land.

Memorial Weekend Road Trip from Hell

2010-05-30T09:50:00.000-07:00

Memorial Holiday 2006 I took a drive heading toward home in Waynesville, North Carolina. It was a beautiful ride and just breezed through Chicago, Indianapolis, Lexington, and was winding my way to Knoxville and then to Waynesville. Lucy, my pitbull dog, rides along with me when I travel. She is a great companion and travels well, riding in the back of my SUV with her head resting on my left shoulder. I lay the seats down so she has the entire back of the car. She was traveling as the princess she is.

I have been making this trip from Milwaukee to Waynesville for over 30 years. When the kids were younger we would stop at a truck stop about 30 miles North of Knoxville. The main attraction was the huge firework store next door! What teenage boy doesn’t like a hand full of M80’s! Out of tradition I pulled into the truck stop to fill up tank.  Little did I know that this was when my evening was to get real interesting. After filling up my tank I went into the truck stop to go to the restroom, get a soda and a lottery ticket. I came back out and scrubbed the bugs off my windshield. All set, got in the car and turned it on and was ready to continue on my way. I started the car, put it in Drive and rolled a few feet and the car stalled. Humm. I tried to start it again and it wouldn’t start and rolled and I steered it into a parking spot.

What the… everything had been as smooth as silk, what is going on? I sat there for a few minutes and tried to start my car again and nothing. I sat there for a while and tried it again and nothing. I realize at this point that something was not right. Not that the clues weren’t there when the car stalled and rolled into a parking space. Duh! I went to my purse and got out my AAA card and made a call. After giving them all my information I was told that it would be the standard 45 minute wait till help would arrive. When I hung up the phone I opened the car door and Lucy and I sat there and waited. I took inventory of my surroundings….it was dusk; people are coming and going from the truck stop paying me no mind. I saw a Comfort Inn a little bit down the road and a 24 hour truck repair garage. I made a few phone calls to my brother, parents, and some friends back in Milwaukee to let them all know of my situation.

An hour and half later a wrecker truck pull up and two men get out. One is wearing mechanic clothes and the other in dress clothes. The mechanic gave me a jump and nothing. Then he had me open up the gas cap and listened while I turned the ignition.   Nothing. He came back over to me and said, in his East Tennessee twang “ Weeeellll, ahpeeers yawr gas pump isn’t weerkin andy didn’t breeng ma flatbed.” We both stood and looked at each other for a minute and I said, ” Your not going to just leave me here are you?” We both stood there and looked at each other and the guy in dress clothes seemed nervous and like he needed to be somewhere. The mechanic looked around and saw the 24 hour truck garage. He called over to them, explained the situation and they said to bring me on over.

I was hooked to the wrecker truck and was taken over to the 24 your truck garage. Lucy riding in the back of my SUV and me sitting between these two fellows in the front seat of the wrecker truck. We arrive at the garage and pull into what looks like an airplane hanger. This place was HUGE. They unhook me from the wrecker and get back in and drive away. As I watch them driving away I see a fellow coming out of what appears to be an office. I took one look at this guy; combat boots, blue jeans, cutout sleeves of a worn denim shirt and a turned around baseball cap. I immediately got Lucy out of the car (leased) and stood there as this fellow approached. He looked under the hood and then asked for my owner’s manual. I knew at that moment that this is not a good sign. After looking through the manual he said,” Ah gota call mu boss, Bob.” Now this is Saturday night on a Memorial weekend and no one is going to be in a hurry to help me out. This young man called and Bob didn’t answer. After about 10 minutes Bob calls and says he will be there in an hour. This event started at 7:00pm and now we are going on 11:00pm. I am getting tired and totally not cool with my situation. I remembered I saw a Comfort Inn and decided to call them, get a room and deal with this in the morning.

I call over to the Comfort Inn, explained my situation and asked if they had any rooms. The lady that answered the phone told me they had rooms but they didn’t take dawgs. I explained my situation again as I might not have made myself clear the first time. I am a lady in distress…stranded and I need a place to stay. The lady said now with an attitude, “Mam, we don’t take dawgs.” I am now irritated, tired and hungry and asked to speak with a manager. “Well Mam I will have ta cawl her at home, hold on.” She comes back after an extended amount of time and says, “ We don’t take dawgs and we can’t hep you, I’um reeaal sorry.” Ahhhhhh, what the…..? I call AAA again and bitch about my situation. They asked if I felt safe and I said NO and they offered to call the police for me. Well, this situation didn’t really warrant the police so I asked then if they could just hurry.

Chet showed up about 30 minutes later. Chet is a retired over the road trucker and now does roadside assistance. He had a brand new flatbed truck and said I was the first customer. Once he got my SUV, with Lucy in the back on her bed, secured onto the flatbed we were all set. Chet asked me where we were going and I told him to take me to the dealership and gave him the address. It is now midnight and I have 150 miles left on my trip. Chet and I got into his cab and I saw right away his chew spit can in the drink holder and thought, Oh Yeah! He turns on his flashing yellow lights and we take off. After about 10 minutes I thought I was going to have a seizure with those yellow strobbing lights. I asked him if the lights bothered him and he said No and he asked, You? I said yes and he told me to close my eyes.   Nice.

Chet drove through Pigeon Forge on I-40 like he was a race car driver. I totally kept my eyes closed and just hung on for dear life. We got to the dealership at 2:30AM and he got my SUV off the flatbed. AAA only covers 120 miles and we went 150 miles so I owed him money and he wants cash. We couldn’t have discussed this at the beginning of our little excursion so I could have gone to a ATM at the truck stop…really? Here I am at 2:45am scrounging around my car for enough change to add to my $55.00 to total $60.00 that I owed him. I thought to myself, this could look like a drug deal. We are now all square and he his leaving and I am standing alone in the dealership parking lot. Before he left asked him if he could give me a ride to my parent’s house that was within a mile of where we were. He agreed and I, my luggage, Lucy and Lucy’s crate all crammed ourselves into the cab of the flatbed. He turned on those damn yellow strobe lights and off we went. When we turned into the subdivision my parents live in I asked him if he could turn off the lights and he said, he couldn’t it was the law. Really, in the subdivision at 3:00am...who is going to know.  We arrived at my parents I can only imagine what the neighbors thought.

The dealership was open on Memorial Day and diagnosed my SUV. My Dad and I went over to the dealership to check on the progress. The mechanic told me I had a full tank of diesel fuel.   I was speechless. Diesel fuel? Really?   How could this be?   I was totally dumb founded. They had to drain my tank, take it out, scrub it and put it back in, costing me $500.00. Ouch. The dealership service manager told me when I used up a full tank of gas to put a carburetor cleaner into the gas tank the next time I filled up.

After all this drama I calmed down and had a good visit with the family. After a week it was time to head back to Wisconsin. I packed up me and Lucy and off we went with the intention to stop by the truck stop. I wanted to figure how the hell I put diesel fuel into my vehicle. I get passed Knoxville and arrive at the truck stop and went to the gas pump I had used. I couldn’t believe what I saw. The diesel sticker was on the right of the pump station, which I am familiar with , and the diesel pump was on the left which should be on the right underneath the sticker. In Wisconsin and every state I traveled through the diesel sticker and pump are both on the right side. I made my selection and grabbed the first pump not noticing the yellow handle.   After all the regular gas pump is always the first pump on the left. The nozzle fit in the tank and I pumped away. Now in Wisconsin the diesel nozzle does not fit into a gas tank preventing any mistake.  This the story of how diesel fuel got into my gas tank….I was thinking Wisconsin and not Tennessee.

Lucy and I continued down the road heading back to Wisconsin. When my tank emptied I stopped to fill it up paying careful attention to which pump I was using. Just as the service manager at the dealership had recommended I put carburetor cleaner into the gas tank. Once I was back on the road the cleaner started working and big clouds of white smoke came out of my tail pipe. I mean this smoke was so thick that I am sure the cars behind me were blinded. I hope I didn't cause a car pile up!

I am sure there was a moral to this story but I haven’t figured it out yet but it does make for a good story.

Thanks to all those who have served and given their lives for my freedom ..have a happy and “safe” Memorial Week!

The Inconvenient Oil Clean-Up

2010-05-21T09:36:00.000-07:00

The hot thing in the news these days is the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. It is an understatement to say this is a terrible situation. Moving past the political and environmental rhetoric from all the talking heads I began to think about the “what if’s”. This is natural for me to think this way because as a Project Manager developing a project plan one considers the risks.   Thinking about “what if’s” that could happen while doing the work. Thinking about if “this” happens, “then what will we do”? Developing a mitigation and/or contingency plan is part of de veloping he overall project plan.

It seems to me when drilling for oil off shore one would think about the “what if's" what happens if this, this, and this happens. Apparently BP didn't have a mitigation or contingency plan for if oil begins to spew all over the ocean.   Apparently BP didn't account for a current taking oil and running is around the globe. Risk taking is necessary for progress but the impact must be seriously evaluated. Greed blurs the reality of negative impacts.   The speed to market always pushes aside attention to risks and their impact. This is greed at it's best.
We are seeing greed over common sense more and more these days. It is not that greed just happened; it has been growing out of control for a long time. We have all participated in the greed, knowingly or unknowingly. I have to honest with myself and admit I have participated in greed. The strong economy offered me good job with a good income. I bought clothes, jewelry, a new SUV, took trips, bought latte’s, indulged myself in personal services, went to dinner with friends, splurged on the yard and garden and generally didn’t think about anyone but myself. If something broke it was replaced.   This all seemed like a well oiled economic machine and all was good with the world. After all, everyone is doing it we are all living the American dream. Right? I read a fortune in a fortune cookie that said: He who knows he has enough is rich.

Greed is defined as; excessive desire to acquire or possess more (especially more material wealth) than one needs or deserves.

The economic down turn has certainly prompted the lesson of living within one’s means.   Unemployment has certainly forced me into my means and learning what I can do without.   I read a post and the content reveals a general attitude disregarding enviornment, conserving energy, and extravgant lifestyle. (just a speculation)

Facebook Post: Just finished a great "carbon footprint" day... Used a gas powered weed wacker, tiller, chain saw, and lawn mower; PLUS put 50+ miles on the motorcycle and finished it off with a family drive (to church) in the SUV. Now I just need to use up an entire can of hair spray outside (what do I need it for) and eat a can of whipped cream.

Friend: make sure it is Aqua Net.
Friend: You must be thirsty. Don't forget to throw away your beer bottle.
Poster: Oh yeah...good points ((I got the best friends, EVER :))

The BP oil crisis has gotten me to think about “what if’s”, what if I can’t afford oil produced energy or it is not available. “What if” the delicate web of dependency begins a domino effect and food source is deminishing?   I don’t think we fully understand how the planet works and think it is an ever ending resource. We are not only living in an economic house of cards but an environmental house cards as well.

I have decided to identify my “what if’s” in the event speed of greed continues.

How will I heat my house?
How will I have electricity?
How will I get water from my well?
How will I get food?
What do I do when my holding tank is full?
How will I wash my clothes?
If something breaks how will it get fixed?

This is all very overwhelming for one person to think about so I will put my head back in the sand.   I guess as long as a crisis is happening some where else and not impacting me,  why should I have a plan B?

Ode to the Okra

2010-05-20T15:36:00.000-07:00

I first learned to love Okra when I was a young girl living with my Grandparents in Waynesville, North Carolina. My Grandfather, Ransom Galloway, would plant a garden every year from potatoes, pole beans, corn, tomatoes to grapes, rhubarb and strawberries. This garden was large enough to produce enough food to can and eat till next Spring. The house sat on a hill with an exposed basement so from the backside looked like a two story house. I have a funny memory of my Grandfather looking out the bathroom window with his rifle watching for "that damn rabbit". He was positioned high enough that he could see on top of the garden. Pa Galloway was a very patient man and he would sit in the bathroom till the rabbit ventured out. So, what happens if you happen to need to use the bathroom? You went to the neighbors house....the Albrights, Gibsons, or Ms Clark. If they weren't home, well you went in the woods.

This is a picture of Pa Galloway and his garden is in the background. That real pretty gal standing with her hands crossed is my Mother, Betty. My Grandparents were pretty self sustaining and I sometimes regret not paying closer attention. I am currently going through the hard knocks of trial and error with my vegetable garden. Okra has a longer growing season so I started them in March to be transplanted to the garden in May. My little seedlings are looking good and showing great promise!

Spring of 2010 has come early and everyone is biting at the bite to get those vegetables and flowers in the ground. I confess that I jumped the gun and planted my little Okras. Were doing good, there was a call for frost but I live close enough to Lake Michigan that I was safe. The next morning I went out to check on my babies and they were doing just fine. I can taste my Okra by now and feeling very proud of myself. There was a call for rain and it rained and rained and rained and my little Okras drowned. The garden is on the island and I could just hear the screaming for help. I am back to square one and that is plant seeds and hope there is a harvest with 50 to 75 days to maturity. Last year was my first year growing Okra and I was amazed what a beautiful flower the plant makes. Who would have thought! It is not like the Okra is an attrative vegetable but I will forever love it.

I wish I could tell you that I prepare all kinds of groumet dishes but I don't....I fry it!

Ingredients:

1 pound of fresh okra
2 beaten eggs
1 cup cornmeal
1/2 teaspoon salt
Crisco

Preparations:

Wash okra and drain well, cut off ends and discard. Cut okra crosswise into 1/2-inch slices. In a bowl beat the eggs then add okra and stir to coat all pieces well. In a shallow dish, combine cornmeal and salt. Dip okra pieces into cornmeal mixture to coalt well. Heat Crisco in cast iron skillet and fry okra until browned, about 4 to 6 minutes. Drain on paper towels and serve immediately.

Bon Appetit

Sliding Down the Chart

2010-05-18T20:56:00.000-07:00

I feel myself slipping down the Maslow pyramid from self actualization right on down the chart to physiological needs. When I first entered my “career transition”, btw this is a bullshit term for being laid off, I have bounced up and down the chart. I first landed on safety needs because when I was given notice it made me feel incredibility unsafe. I came home and for weeks I sat in front of my computer frantically looking for another job. I was in a total state of panic ...how am I going to live, pay my mortgage, pay bills, eat, put gas in my car, afford COBRA ... I need to find a job! I felt very unsafe and as if I was falling without a net. The net I am suppose to have has been attacked several times with economic hiccups and my little nest egg has gotten cracked and fried.

The next landing was social needs. It is very difficult to not have the money to socialize with family and friends. I never lived an extravagant lifestyle but I did go out to dinner with several different groups of friends on a regular basis. I also attended professional chapter meetings, professional development seminars and continuing education classes. I have friends and family that live out of state and would travel to see them. I have had to give all this up and more. I feel isolated and disengaged from what is going on in the world. It is like I live in my own personal third world. I should take that back because as I set here whining in my pity pot there are those who are much worse off then me. I think I am back to feeling unsafe.

I am trying to stay off the self esteem rung but I am slipping in that direction. My confidence has been shattered as I continue to be socially and professionally isolated. Just a quick digression: After a 12 hiatus of being a stay at home mom I re-entered the work place. I first left in 1980 and re-enter in 1992 and it was like I had been gone for 30 years. Everything was different and there was something new…the computer. I almost stopped breathing when I learned that I had to go into the computer in order to be paid. I swore that I would never allow myself to be that far behind ever again. Even though it has only been 16 months since I last worked I am feeling like I could find myself 30 years behind again. Technology, trends, business models, corporate cultures, and things I don’t know about are racing forward at incredible speeds. Even when I worked I felted a little challenged to keep up with the pace. In these last 16 months I have done all the things you are suppose to do to land that next job. It took me almost a year to realize that what I did, IT Project Management Office, has greatly diminished if not become extinct. The direction IT is evolving to it beyond my scope. It is exciting with social media and cloud technologies but this would require me to re-tool. Well, I have already done this and graduated in 2003 with a degree in IT for the technologies at that point in time and btw, I am still paying off that student loan.

To keep my sanity and social outlet I have been working at a retail store. This has been a very humbling experience to say the least. It took me a while to come down off my corporate high horse and get into the real world. My first paycheck was a reality check as what I made in one day use to be my hourly rate. I know that I will never be back to where I was but surely there is an up from here. The longer this takes the less confidence I am having. So, I keep telling myself

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me! ...and I will keep on trying.

Cocooning at Caribou Coffee

2010-04-08T18:31:00.000-07:00

After a week of unseasonable deliciously warm weather we were slammed back into the reality of a Wisconsin April…cold and wet. It was a lovely 38 degrees this morning so I decided to cocoon at Borders book store. I wandered around looking at all the new releases, the 3 for 2 tables and browsed through Martha Stewart’s latest book on how to make a sofa out of laundry lint. The sad thing is I almost considered buying it out of total boredom of 14 months of unemployment.

I read somewhere the 10 best places to meet men, top of the list was the produce department on Sunday, second was a book store on Thursday .. just kidding about the Thursday. I am sad to report there were three men over 75, two men who looked like they had shelves of action figures at home, and one guy with enough hardware on his face that I could repair my siding. Yeah, I have problems getting my 44 inch lawn tractor deck through 46 inch gate opening. No Mr. Right today.

I made my selections, Blink by Malcolm Gladwell (the power of thinking without thinking) and One Second After by William Forstchen with a forward by Newt Gingrich. Despite the fact that Newt had anything to do with this book I still found the subject interesting. The same way I had to ignore Mark Levin’s friendship with Rush Limbaugh when reading Rescuing Sprite. Good book…highly recommend it. Anyway, I purchased my books and headed off to my next cocooning destination, Caribou Coffee.

I ordered a medium mocha, dark chocolate, skim milk with no whip. There was a comfy leather chair by the fireplace that had my name on it. I settle in with my coffee and my newly purchased book … One Second After. Then! A young mother comes in with a year old baby. This is cool, the baby is cute. The Mother, however, proved to be very annoying. She was on the phone … blah blah blah and walked back and forth in front of where I was sitting. Now I am a tolerant person and can endure pretty much anything after raising three children that were bore in four years but this woman was getting on my last nerve. I told myself this won’t last long, the baby will get fussy and she would leave. NOoooo, the baby was great, good natured and happy. I finally put my book down and watched and listened to her conversation. I felt this was appropriate since she was parading in front of me. I thought foresure she must be a virtual worker on a conference call, a physician giving orders to staff for patient care or maybe closing a real estate sale. What I heard was... I left you a message, did you get the message, why don’t you check your messages, when will you call me…blah blah blah. I just wanted to get up and bitch slap this person.

This poses the question..why do we put up with rude inconsiderate ignorant behavior? I could have moved but I would have felt resentment and that would not be good for my health just as sitting there stewing was not good for my health. Would it be in both parties best interest if I would have gotten up and let her know that she was disturbing me? Maybe, or I should go with my first instinct and bitch slap the woman? Which I believe would have made me feel better and be good for my health.

All I can say if right now I am blogging with a glass of wine and she is cleaning spaghetti up off the floor…

So you want to be a consultant

2010-03-05T08:09:00.000-08:00

This morning I was flipping through a stack of business cards looking for my doctor’s phone number. As I was going along I paused at some of the recently acquired business cards from the Milwaukee JobCamp. These business card were of people who are in career transition just like me and like many others. I saw a few things that caused me to reflect.

The business card seemed to be a replication of the corporate roles and functions they recently held. This made me think…if they were let go from their position wouldn’t that role and function be extinct? Would there really be consulting opportunities? My mother in law who is a salty late 70‘s brought something to my attention. She asked, of these people you are meeting, are they people who will hire you? Well no, they are not people who will hire me. I started thinking about this. If we are starting consulting businesses offering services as the same job role and function we had when were employed, I wonder if we are having a hard time moving forward. We are becoming consultants where the landscape is changing. It seems we are still the round peg but the hole is becoming square and our hamster wheel as a different address.

What I see is this economic downturn has people thinking entrepreneurially. We know we don’t want to go back to where we were…the Grade A, all American, 6x6 cubical with the same hamster wheel day. Yet we are going with what we know and that is the past role and function. People are establishing businesses, setting up websites, buying business cards, networking with others who are doing the same thing and not making money either. Well enough money to sustain on. My question is, are we happy? Do we have the grit to build something that is possibly not our true passion?

I can’t believe someone’s real passion is corporate vision, strategic planning, team leadership, communications, and product and business development, process methodology and so on. I know it is not mine. This is what we left and this is what we don’t want to go back to. Lets let go because those positions that were considered discretionary are not there and will not fuel an income. So where is the money? I don’t mean to be a pessimist but really, what has networking, LinkedIn, and setting up your own consulting business done for you lately? We are networking with like mindedness and are fueling each others delusions. It dawned on me who is making money…Vista print. The business card, the websites, the promotional materials, business must be booming!

It seems to me that all this entrepreneurial energy would be better spent on local commerce. Providing a product or service to the community of something that is a real passion. What is it that we have fun with and are really good at? I like croquet and I am good at it. You are probably thinking…croquet what the hell can you do with croquet? Well, I have an idea and it is something I loved as a kid and it is not around any more. I am keeping it to myself so no one steals it from me :~) My point is, don’t dismiss your passion because it seems dumb. Don’t measure it to others. I did that. I went online to see what others were doing with my passion and I got discouraged. Then I thought, damn it, that is them and not me. I have grit to follow my passion and it will be unique because it is my passion.

Once you find the thing that is fun and you do well turn it into a passion. Take all that corporate experience and knowledge and turn it inward instead of outward.

Make yourself your own client!

I dedicate this blog to my good friends Paula Hornbeck and Ryan Michael Galloway. Two very happy people who have followed their passions..

Chatter Chatter Chatter

2010-03-01T19:38:00.000-08:00

Out of 300 million people 78 million are baby boomers…one third of the nations population. Commonly referred to as a pig in a python. (Ken Dykwal) As a boomer in the middle of the demographics it has been a wild and wondrous ride; do what you want, go for what you want and get what you want. We went from hippie to yuppie to the never ending line of greedy geezers. Here we are, no hair, no waist, no job, no retirement and no longer living large. We are all asking “What the hell am I suppose to do now?”

I am of a generation that was told to get a good job with a good company, work hard and retire with a pension. Well we all know how that turned out, we were merged, acquired, downsized, or the position has been eliminated. We landed on our feet and became very agile. We entered the five year plan where if you wanted a raise you changed jobs. Everything started moving fast and everyone was living large and change wasn’t so devastating, as long as the money was there. We all know how that turned out.

It seems to me we are being reminded of what is real and true. In away I thank the economic downturn; For bringing me closer to my friends and family. For slowing me down so that I can give my undivided attention. I am thankful for the new friends I have made in my networking efforts, the opportunity to learn, love, hope and be humble.

Humble is the biggest one. The titles are gone, the prestige and glory are gone it is just me. Who am I? I was once defined with titles and roles and now they are gone and I don’t know who I am. I have spent 13 months unemployed having personal epiphanies realizing what is true and real. I am still not quite sure whom I am or what I want to do. However, I know what I don’t want and that is to go back to those titles and roles. I have now realized how soulless my career has been working in a corporate office in a Grade A, all American, standard 6x6 cubical. I would leave every day and have no feelings of accomplishment. It was a trudge and I don’t want to go back.

Well here goes the mind chatter…how will you keep your house, how will you maintain your lifestyle, what about the dogs, what about, what about, what about. This is change and fear speaking to keep me away from my true reality. My last blog was about the Wild Hair and I ended with what would be real and true to me. So why am I still sitting here? Why am I still looking for work in the same ole same ole. Why do I make health insurance my excuse? I don’t know, maybe it is because it is 20 degrees outside and I don’t feel like it.

Chatter Chatter Chatter

What is my passion? Story Telling, I love to tell a story.
What are my strengths? Helping, Making it Happen
What are my weaknesses? Don’t believe in myself

If one of my strengths is making it happen then the big question is, what is holding me back from realizing my passion? Oh yeah, I don’t believe in myself. I am a smart person. Why can’t I realize my passion? Why am I following the noise? I guess I need to think about what I need to change. The opportunity will come once I make a change. So what is the change? I keep thinking I should sell the house but I like it here....Would someone please slap me silly?!

The Wild Hair

2010-01-18T10:44:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like chucking it all and making a left turn? How do you know when that time has arrived? Are the reasons to not make that turn valid?

There was a time when the wild hair lived and breathed and life was fun, free, and easy. It was fun to pick up and make a change or just do something different. I have moved 25 times in my life, this averages a move every two years. Living at the same address for nine years has dulled the wild hair and compliancy is beginning to rub it the wrong way.

In an effort to get back to where I was (a grade-A all American corporate cubical) I keep getting the same results. This is the definition of insanity. I am trying to be someone I no longer am. I am trying to duplicate the past and the past is gone. So, what would the wild hair do? When the wild hair lived and breathed making a left turn was easy to do.

So what is the wild hair saying?

Put the house up for sale. Stop playing the games to be played to maintain compliancy. Cash out, pay off debts and hit the road and take that left turn.

The Second Interview

2010-01-12T20:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had a second interview for a position that has three roles all melded into one…Application Analyst, Business Analyst, and Project Manager. The first interview was with the hiring manager, Sandi. We had a good meeting and both of us parted feeling encouraged about the fit. This was confirmed when I received a call the very afternoon requesting a second interview.

The second interview was scheduled for a week later. In the interim I developed viral laryngitis and could not speak without coughing. As I got closer to the date of the interview I realized that I would not be able to talk. I had no choice but to ask for an alternative date. I was very happy to get a call back with a new date and time.

It has been almost a year since I was last employed and this was the first second interview I have had during this time. Needless to say I started working myself up into a knot about the interview. I tapped into my resources for coaching in preparation of the interview, such as, what is the purpose of meeting with upper management, what is the purpose of meeting with the team and so forth. I got some very good advice and realized I needed to just relax and go with what I know.

I researched the company, took the job description, broke it down and filled in my experience for each requirement. There were several software programs that required experience so I researched each one and aligned them with my previous software experience. The long and short I don’t think I could have been any more prepared then I was for this second interview.

The day has arrived and my appointment is at 12:30. I left the house an hour and half early so that I could have a relaxing lunch at Panera’s . At I-43 and Good Hope traffic came to a stand still as the two left lanes were closed and traffic was merging. It took me 40 minutes to get from Good Hope to the Silver Spring exit. My relaxing lunch now turned into a mad dash. The good news is I managed to get something to eat and be on time for the interview.

The first meeting was with the team, Denise and Jan. The position was described to me as being administrative, providing software support, managing upgrades, implementations and deployments along with vendor management. While I was listening I started realizing I am potentially over qualified. Both Denise and Jan have been with the company for 30 yrs each and with that information I made some assumptions about the culture. We had a good discussion and on the way to my next appointment they stopped by and showed me the work area. One standard Grade-A cubicle.

The second meeting was with the Director of Information Systems, Gary. Gary has been with the company for 15 years, prior to that he was with a software development company for 21 years. This interview was more qualifying of my experience. When we reached my most recent positions and technologies I worked with I needed to explain what they were. I made the assumption he is old school technology and the company is old school technology. We had good conversations and Gary and I parted with an agreement the job requirements were understood.

This is the jest of the second interview. I had anticipated it, prepared for it, and stressed out over it and left feeling anti-climatic. This job is just like all the others which is just a means to an end. After not having a job for almost a year I was so very excited about this position only to realize it will kill my soul just like all the others did. I drove away with many thoughts racing through my head … what do you want, what will make you happy, am I being true to myself, can you just suit up and show up and ignore things. God! I haven’t worked in a year, I finally get closer to landing a job then I ever have and I am asking... Is this really what I want? Why? I need health insurance. So, in order to have health insurance the answer is to take a soulless job. Yes. In the current state of things beggars can not be choosers. I need to consider this job as a door and go with it.

However, funny thing…no offer has been made. I wonder what they are thinking?

December Snow in Wisconsin

2009-12-08T16:35:00.000-08:00

This is a story that circulated around the office many years ago. I thought it was appropriate for the eve of our first snow storm. Enjoy!

December 8
6:00pm It has started to snow The first of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down all over the area. It was BEAUTIFUL!!

December 9
We awoke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What fantastic sight! Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later the snow plow came along and covered up our sidewalk with compacted snow from the street, so I shoveled it again.

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Oh well, I am sure we will get some more before the winter in through.

December 14
It snowed 8 inches last night and the temperature dropped to 20 degrees below zero. Shoveled the driveway and sidewalk again and the snow plow came by and did its trick again.

December 15
Sold my van and bought a four wheel drive so I can drive in the snow and bought snow tires for my wife’s car.

December 17
Still cold, below zero, and icy roads make it tough to drive. Also fell on my ass from ice on the sidewalk leaving the house.

December 20
Ad 14 inches of the white shit last night. More shoveling is in store for me today. The goddamn snow plow came by twice.

December 22
We are assured of a white Christmas because 13 inches of the white shit fell today and with this freezing weather it won’t melt till August. Got all dressed to go shovel (boots, snowsuit, heavy jacket, scarf, earmuffs, and gloves) once I got outside I had the urge to pee!!

December 24
If I ever catch that son-of-bitch that drives that snow plow I will drag him through the snow by his balls. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100mph and throws snow all over what used to be my lawn.

December 25
MERRY CHRISTMAS! They predict 20 more inches of the F@#&@ white shit tonight. Do they know how many shovels full of snow 28 inches is? The snow plow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with the snow shovel.

December 26
We got the 28 inches and then some. I must be going snow blind or have a severe case of cabin fever because my wife is beginning to look good to me.

December 27
The toilet froze. If you go outside look out for the yellow snow!

December 28
The house if for sale. Heading south……

My Thanksgiving memories…

2009-11-25T18:28:00.000-08:00

When I was a child most of my holiday meals were at the mess hall. I am not sure what the reason was but I can only speculate. Maybe the commissary didn’t stock turkeys and all the fixings. Maybe the stoves in military housing couldn’t accommodate a turkey, or the turkey burned every year. Whatever the reason, we would get dressed in our Sunday clothes and go to the mess hall.

At the mess hall there was a special area for the dependent families. This doesn’t mean a special room it was just a sectioned off part of the hall. The tables were decorated with paper turkeys and pilgrims to commemorate the holiday. Now these tables were not the usual dining table with chairs, they were cafeteria tables. I remember how hard it was to straddle across the bench to set down for dinner. However, I have no memory of how my Mother did it in a pencil skirt. I guess I am left with a mental picture of a 30 something, 5’11” in heels and a pencil skirt straddling a bench. Anyway, back to my Thanksgiving eating memory. Once we had settled at our table we would wait till the chow line had diminished enough for us to go through. We would get our standard chow tray, plates and utensils and place them onto the tray slide. This was cafeteria style so you would hold out your tray and the cooks would place your dinner on the plates. There was no customizing…you got what you got.

I had no idea how delicious a home cooked Thanksgiving meal could be till I married into the Colloton family. Mrs. Colloton made the best turkey, gravy, potatoes, stuffing, pies, and macaroni and cheese. When dinner was over I was always amazed at how this woman could pick every morsel of meat off the turkey till the carcass was bone dry. It was quite the art form to watch. The next week it was all about turkey soup! Mrs. Newland could also make a mean turkey and the family would bring a cover dishes. Everything was yummy and the Newland boys were always entertaining.

So, if you are doing the math we are up to almost 40 years and I have yet to make a turkey dinner. This is probably a good thing as the only way I know to cook is mess hall style. What are your Thanksgiving memories?

The Art of Hanging out the Wash

2009-10-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

The other day I was thinking about hanging out laundry and remember the day my Appalachia Grandmother learned me on the hanging out the wersh. (Smoky Mountain Accent)

This was 1967 and I was sent to live with my Grandparents till my Father was transfer from Andrews Base. At that time there was resentment towards the government’s mandate for integration. My Dad was not able to get on-base housing so we lived off base. I was in middle school and coupled with the normal trials of being in middle school I was harassed because my Dad in the service. The service being representative of the government. I was taunted in class, beat up in the girl’s bathroom and followed home from school. These were very turbulent times and my parents felt I would be safer in the South. So off I go to live with Rose and Ransom in Western North Carolina.

The first couple of weeks were fun to be at Grandma and Grandpa’s house without my parents and brother. I loved the attention. Then all the attention became too much as I was watched all the time. I couldn’t go any where by myself. I had to stay at the house. I began to think I was sentenced to hell having to live with these old people. I was registered to go to the local school but school didn’t start for three months. My Mother told me to be a good girl and make sure I help out my Grandmother.

One day my Grandmother asked me to go hang out the wash. Like any other 14 year old I took the basked of clothes and carried it like it weighted a ton. Once I made the long journey across the yard to the clothes line I began hanging up the clothes. I hung each article with the most anguishing effort. My Grandmother sat on the back porch and watched this entire dramatic display. When I was finished and came back to the house she told me I did it all wrong. I thought, Oh My Gosh, how can you hang up clothes wrong!?

This is when I learned on how to hang clothes on the line. You hang all your towels together, shirts together, socks together, pants together. The sheets go facing the road and under clothes are hung between each item on the line. This way no one can see them from the road. You NEVER! hang your under clothes together and she took all the clothes off the line and made me do it all over again.

I want it to be known that all my adult life when I hang clothes out I hang them just like I was taught.

The 360 of Life

2009-09-23T18:32:00.000-07:00

This summer I participated with a group of recruiters who were organizing an event called the Milwaukee JobCamp. The purpose of this event was to assist people with learning the skills necessary for searching for a job. There were sessions on Resumes, Interviewing, Social Media, Dress for Success, and round table discussions.

During this project I met and worked with many dynamic people, Jayne being one of them. Her role in this project was to secure paying sponsors for the event. She is a gifted Salesperson and her efforts in generating sponsorship contributed to the overwhelming success of the event. I really enjoy Jayne’s energy as she is very thought provoking, a passionate learner for varying points of views and opinions, an adjunct professor at UWM and a great person to know. Like many of us, Jayne too is unemployed.

Last Saturday night Jayne invited me over to visit with her and a couple of her friends, Karen and Terri. As it turns out we are all unemployed and life is lean for all of us. We came with wine, of the price point of Two Buck Chuck, and Jayne put out a bowl of almonds. So, here we are, a bunch of 50 some-things too broke to go any where sitting in a Eastside Flat eating stale nuts and drinking cheap wine. Who would have thought? A year ago we were downtown, dressed to the nines drinking martinis, fine dining, and going to the theater.

It is an amazement how quickly life can change. Instead of commiserating about our circumstance we instead had a good ole girlfriend night. We talked and talked, played with our camera phones, watched Jayne monitor her son’s whereabouts on a GPS link between their phones and drank some more wine and talked some more. Jayne does Astrology so we moved to her study and played with the stars throwing out birth dates of husbands, boyfriends, children and each other. The only thing missing was a Ouija board. Instead of a bunch of 50 some-things it was like we were 12 again. It was a lot of fun. The only thing that interrupted this moment was when the pizza delivery man came and we instantly went into cougar mode. What cute honey… hum hummm

Breadth or Depth .. What is the Answer

2009-09-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

I have never been in one place, job, or relationship to develop any depth of experience. In my blog on August 13, 2009 “Child of Change” I shared that I have moved 25 times in 54 years, attending 13 schools, four colleges and 17 jobs. This certainly does not lend the opportunity for depth. I do, however, possess breadth, a board brush of life.

Is this a bad thing? I am not sure. When I landed in Milwaukee some 30 years ago I remember I had a hard time fitting in. I had always been with people just like myself, military dependents. We shared a transient upbringing and change was no big deal to us. Our time spent and our conversations were filled with diversity and experiences. It was exciting to learn what another had learned and to share with another. Friends would come and go and there was always something new going on. The one constant was a friend and their family was short term and soon there would be someone to fill their place.

Now that I am in Milwaukee I was faced with an environment where people’s horizons expanded a five block radius. Their children, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, bothers and sisters all lived within that same radius. All social functions revolved around family gatherings, weddings, funerals, graduations, or impromptu dinners. There were no opportunities to spend time with a new friend as they were always obligated to the family. These people also had generational succession within companies. The Grandfather, Father, Son, Brother and so on all worked together. They had depth with work and family but not breadth. I couldn’t relate to them and neither could they relate to me. At that time I had moved 13 times, had lived in five different states and two different countries. I had breadth but not depth.

This disparity shortened through the years as I tried to adapt. I got married, had children and got involved within the community. I have often wondered if I missed out on a normal life. Well maybe normal is not the right word, how about a life filled with structure, routine and complacency. The question now is, do I want to fit in? Fitting in is not so important to me any more. I think it is because I have become comfortable in my own skin.

I have had one long relationship since I have been in Milwaukee and it is with my Mother-in-Law. Through the years I have learned that she and I have a lot in common. We both have had a transient upbringing, we both married the same type of man and we both have the same type of relationship with our children. I have enjoyed our many conversations through the years and our time spent. She has been a very special friend considering the dynamics around us and we are both comfortable in our own skin.

So my question today is, how do I package my experiences both personally and professionally to reinvent myself for the next stent of my life. The one element I would like to include is change.

Any thoughts out there???

Doing the Right Thing

2009-09-14T07:22:00.000-07:00

In any industrial loading dock in any city is a man named, Joe. Joe is second generation European decent living in the USA. He brings with him strong values, morality, and pride. One day Joe came to work on the loading dock sporting a black-eye. When his co-workers saw the black eye they began to heckle him. “Hey Joe, did your girlfriend give you that black-eye?” “Hey Joe, did your Mama smack you?” After enduring much ribbing about his black-eye he decided to tell his fellow co-workers how he got his black-eye.

Joe said, “Being a good Christian boy I went to church on Sunday. I listened to the priest, prayed, and sang. Sitting in front of me was this bigga fat lady. I noticed that every time this bigga fat lady stood up to sing her dress was stuck in the crack of her ass. Well like a good Christian boy I leaned over and pulled the dress outta the crack of her ass. POW! she smacked me in the face.” Joe’s co-workers were just besides themselves and heckled Joe for days. Joe just kept to his work and ignored them.

The following Monday Joe comes to the loading dock very quiet, keeping his head down. Joe’s co-workers were standing shooting the shit about what they did over the weekend. Joe usually is right with them in a spirited exchange of brags but this Monday Joe went right to his station. The co-workers began to hassle Joe and when Joe looked up he had another black-eye. Oh, this was too much for the co-workers to bare and could not pass up the opportunity to give Joe a hard time again. As usual Joe could only take so much of the unrelenting borage of teasing.

Joe said,” O.k O.K I’ma gonna tell you once and only once what happened. Being a good Christian boy I went to church on Sunday with my good friend, Ernie. We listened to the priest, prayed, and sang. Sitting in front of us was this ah same bigga fat lady. We noticed that every time this bigga fat lady stood up her dress was stuck in the crack of her ass. Wella I know that she doesn’t like it when you try to help her so I just let it alone. When I had my eyes closed singing my heart out my friend Ernie leaned over and pulled the fatta ladies dress out of the crack of her ass. I knowa that she doesn’t like that so I quickly stuffa it right back. POW!

"What If"

2009-08-30T09:08:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me knows I am an incurable optimist. I can take any situation and find the good news in it. Anyone who knows me knows I have not had an easy life, however, with each challenge I found myself in a better place. It is not in my nature to quit. I am a fighter. When diagnosis with Breast Cancer I stayed on the up side and maintained a positive attitude. I was very blessed to have employers who provided health insurance to me as part of my benefit package. I was able to receive the necessary treatment to remove the cancerous cells from my body. I was able to receive the necessary reconstruction surgery to make my body whole again. I am now able to receive the monitoring and medication necessary to maintain my remission. I am truly blessed.

I have a new challenge. I have become unemployed due to our economic crisis. I have been unemployed before and quickly secured another position. This time is different. I am going on seven months of unemployment. I am grateful to have unemployment benefits from my employer and the unemployment benefit extensions from both the federal and state government. I also have COBRA insurance for 18 months and very grateful the federal government is subsidizing my premium by 65%.

I have been actively looking for employment and in seven months I have responded to over 150 advertisements. I have posted myself on all the major company’s websites. I have attended career transition training. I have networked. I am doing all the right things but jobs are not available. I have seven out 18 months of COBRA used up. I have 28 weeks out of 79 weeks of unemployment used up. These stats don’t seem so bad; there is plenty of time for the economy to recover. I will be O.K. Right?

Here it is; my first doubt, my first skepticism. My first” What If”. I have a pre-existing condition and without an employer’s insurance benefit I am uninsurable. Unemployment and COBRA will not last forever. So, “What If’ I am not able to secure another job before my benefits run out? How will I pay for the monitoring and medication necessary to maintain my remission?

There is a nasty debate going on regarding Heathcare Reform. There are nay sayers who don’t support any Healthcare Reform. They want to keep things just as they are. They claim under government run healthcare your grandmother will not get necessary treatment because she is too old. I wonder how this is any different from my situation? I guess either way we are both left to die.

Someone please help me understand why Healthcare Reform is such a bad thing?

Good For All

2009-08-29T08:53:00.000-07:00

I feel very contemplative today about the Kennedy family. This family has been around my entire life. I have thought a lot about their history and where I was and what I was doing at the time of news events. I am not a historian and could not even begin to engage into a facts or fiction discussion. I just know what I have seen and felt.

In November 22, 1963 I was out on the playground hanging upside down on the monkey bar watching ants in the sand. My friends Mother came across the street and sat down with the other Moms. They talked for a moment and then they started crying and hugging each other. I got down off the monkey bar and watched them and I remember I felt scared. This was my first time to experience a national tragedy. The reactions of the adults scared me because something bad had happened. President John F. Kennedy had been shot and killed. I knew who he was because in school I had won a certificate for the President’s Physical Fitness Program and his name was on it. I knew everyone was sad but at nine years old I couldn’t understand the magnitude. It was not until later on in life did I learn and understood what had happened. There was one thing that always stuck with me and that was a quote from his inaugural speech; “Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For, You but What Can You Do for Your Country”

Well first of all this quote is a paraphrase from “The New Frontier” by Khalil Gibran published in 1925. Setting that aside, what did it mean to me? I was in the fifth grade and my class had a discussion on what we thought the meaning was. The over arching theme was around Patriotism. We were in the middle of the cold war and America needed to be stronger then the Russians. (Hence the Presidential Physical Fitness Award)
So, how do we make America strong? How do we keep America strong? Why do we need to be strong? Those were pretty tough questions so we left it at “It means that you're the one that is supposed to give for your country so that it can give to you.”

I think about where America is today and I don’t feel we are a strong nation any more. I read that our educational system is slipping and health care has concerns. It seems to me the only way to have heath insurance is a benefit of employment. If you don’t have a job then you have two choices; you pay out of pocket for the entire expense or pay insurance premiums in the event of a health issue. If you don’t have a job you don’t have the money to pay for either. If you get sick, you get sick and possibly die or infect another.

How can we have a strong nation if we have a society of unhealthy and uneducated citizens? How can we provide proper healthcare and education for our citizens? Here are some approaches that then fuel quagmires

One- Be free to donate money where you see a social need.
Two- Collect a tax that fills certain buckets for social needs.

Here is how I see number one: when donating money there could be prejudice and needed funds for social needs would not be there.

Here is how I see number two: When collecting tax one has to trust the money collected will be allocated appropriately for social needs.

So I ask, why can’t we do both, tax and donate? We are doing it with education. We have both public and private schools. Well there is something wrong with this formula as we rank low globally in education. So, then I ask myself, when did we have a strong educational system? I went to public school in the 60’s and 70’s and I got a great education. Who paid for my school? Public taxes. So what happened? Why don’t we invest into education anymore? Why don’t we want to invest into healthcare?

Here it is…..Prejudice. Why should we take care of “Those People” !? Let me remind those who ask this question, they came from “Those People” Not so long ago their grandparents migrated to the United States. It was my family who was prejudice then as they arrived in the 1600’s. They were White Anglo Saxon Protestants, WASP. They hated having Catholics and Jews in our country. It went against everything they believed in and had fled from. Well the world has kept on turning. Just like when we had our first Irish Catholic President…the world kept turning.

So let’s ask ourselves, What is the right thing to do for the good of all?

I Got Friends

2009-08-27T17:28:00.000-07:00

Since I have been unemployed I have seen, heard, and read about social networking. There are a bazillion ways for us to communicate at the speed of a thought so we can react at the speed of a knee jerk. I am very excited about this new technology and want to engage. I am having a hard time of figuring out how to integrate these technologies into my every day life.

I would like to use social media with my circle of influence but here is my dilemma; my peers are duds. Yes duds! Most of them have a computer and use it for surfing the internet, shop or look up something medical. Only a few send emails and when they do it has, FWD:FWD:FWD and then the subject which is usually one of those urban legends. You know the ones that condemn you to eternal bad karma if you don’t forward to 15 more people. I have begged and pleaded to please stop sending me these emails but they continue to show up in my inbox. God…please help them figure out how to remove me from their distribution lists; which by the way, I am impressed they created a distribution list in the first place.

Now, I don’t know where my mind was when I set up a Facebook account, as Facebook is all about friends. I have friends and family and some who live out-of-state so I sent them a request to join Facebook. I thought it would be fun way to keep in touch and share what’s been going on with each other. I waited and waited and no one joined my Facebook page. I felt like the unpopular kid in school…my page had no friends ;~(

I tried to educate them on the functionality of Facebook and the benefits, like sharing pictures and videos. I got a lot of push back, as they didn’t want the whole universe to see their stuff. Here is another technology challenge…. They use cameras that use film. Then they go to Wal-Mart and use the kiosk to print out hard copies. OMG! This hurts me. So, I gave up on them and have all their kids as my Facebook friends. Now here is the reality with this; I know all the details of their day…really!

I would like to acknowledge, Jackie, Pam, Karen and Kay. These ladies have crossed the line and live wildly on the .net

We Need More Whistle Stops

2009-08-23T10:10:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning thinking about trains. I was remembering the sound of a train whistle from a coal train on its way to Canton’s paper mill. (Canton, NC) I was a little girl that was put down for a nap and refused to go to sleep. I would lay there and listen to the sounds outside. The birds, the dog down the street, my Grandmother cooking in the kitchen and the train whistle. I love this sound; it is so comforting to me. There is a train down the road from where I live now and every time I hear the whistle I go back to that moment lying in my Grandmother’s bed.

When I was a little older it was fun to sneak out at night and walk the tracks in the dark. I would be visiting my other Grandparents and there were train tracks right behind their house. I have a younger Aunt and Uncle that are my age and we were always agents of mischief. We would walk almost to Lake Junaluska and back; walking on the rails and skipping the tracks. It was a feeling of being free. Of course we were 10yrs old and doing something naughty. There is always excitement in that!

Recently I went to see my son who lives in Chicago. I made my trip an excursion by using public transportation the whole way. This required planning and time management. I live in a bedroom community to Milwaukee with freeway flyer transportation into the city. I did a little research and discovered there was a freeway flyer that would drop me off in front of the train station. So I coordinated the time of the bus drop off to the time the train pulled out of the station. My wait in the station was 5 minutes and ride to Chicago took about 45 minutes. I then walked across the street from Union Station and caught the Metro and took a 10 minute ride to the stop where my son lives. I had a really nice time taking the train and it was fun.

I was very pleased with myself and felt like a responsible citizen. I had someone ask me why I didn’t just drive. Claiming it would not have been so much trouble. This got me thinking, what trouble? So I did a little math and here are my results:

Time: Car -150 miles at 60mph = 2.5 hours
Time: Public Transportation = 1.5 hours

Cost: Car: 150 miles at 25 miles per gallon at $3.89 a gallon = $48.00 round trip
Additional consideration: maintenance and wear and tear
Cost: Public Transportation- $40.00 for Amtrak, $2.75 Freeway Flyer, $ 3.00 = $46.00

Stress: Car- Maximum – Rush hour, I-94 construction from Ryan Rd to the state line, constant attention to the road, toll road (don’t have enough change), the guy in front of me is really pissing me off to the point I just want to rip that fish off their trunk, “Shit” I just missed my exit, now where the “Hell” am I, can’t find my phone to call my son for new directions and ”Damn It “he never answers his phone he only does text messages, “Shit” now I have to pull over and text him and by the way I didn’t plan my trip I just got in my car to drive to Chicago and “Damn it” I need gas.

Stress: Public Transportation - Minimal - I was a passenger; I read my book, drank my coffee, closed my eyes and had polite conversation with someone interesting.

I have never understood why passenger train travel is so undesired. It makes so much sense to me. It is quick, it is efficient, and it is practical. Ah! HA! There it is, “Practical”. Why would we do something that is practical? We like the convenience and control over our lives no matter what the consequence. So why don’t we change? Oh Gosh, there is that word again, “Change”.

Mr. President, Let’s get this Health Care reform done and we can move on to improving our train systems.

My Fellow Democrats- Facts Over Fear

2009-08-19T14:22:00.000-07:00

It feels like a new lie about health insurance reform crops up each day. Government taking over all health care? Not true. Euthanasia for seniors? Couldn't be more false. Rationing of care? Reform will stop rationing, not increase it.These lies create fear and anger, and we're seeing the results around the country. Frightened crowds have flooded town halls, and the office of a Georgia representative was defaced with a swastika. It's time to set the record straight -- and, more importantly, expose the special interests and partisan attack organizations behind the lies and misinformation. Go to..."Setting the Record Straight" site. Check out the site today and then spread the word to your friends.

As the site makes clear, these lies are no accident. They're part of a deliberate plot by the special interests who profit from the status quo to kill any reform at all. While Americans watch their paychecks dwindle, their coverage disappear, and their businesses struggle, special interests are trying to scare folks into opposing reform.

"Setting the Record Straight" site has all the info you need to fight back, as well as easy ways to get involved in the fight for health insurance reform. As we learned during the campaign, lies like these can spread like wildfire through viral emails and from friend to friend. The best way to stop them is to arm yourself with the facts -- and make sure your friends and family know the truth.Check out the site, and share it with everyone you know:http://my.barackobama.com/record

Mitch Stewart
DirectorOrganizing for America

Catching the Next Wave

2009-08-14T07:37:00.000-07:00

OK..There is a huge wave coming and it is bigger then I thought. I just finished reading Groundswell and I really need to learn about and apply social media to my tool box. So, I have been digging around on the web to find out what kinds of social media are out there...OMG! There are so many different ways to organize, communicate, market, share and I am sure there is other stuff. It seems to me we have a couple demographics where professionally I could position myself. So in my efforts to chunk it all down categories and a sampling of what I have found. Here they are if you are interested:

Social networks:
Facebook - One of the many social networking websites, Facebook was originally confined to users with
college or university email addresses, it is now open to anyone and is currently one of the fastest growing
social networking sites. http://www.facebook.com
Myspace - A social networking website that allows users to post images, personal profiles, blogs, music,
and videos, as well as form networks with each other that span the globe. Still the # 1 social networking site.
http://www.myspace.com
Bebo: http://www.bebo.com
Hi5 http://www.hi5.com/
Ning: user created smaller social networks built around a subject or product.
http://www.ning.com

Social Bookmarks:
Del.icio.us. - A social bookmarking service that allows users to tag favorite sites and articles with
descriptive keywords, discover new content, and share their favorites with other users. http://del.icio.us
Ma.gnolia - http://ma.gnolia.com/

Social News:
Digg - A community based popularity website that combines social bookmarking, blogging, and syndication.
Users submit content and stories find their way to the front page (or not) through a democratic user-based
ranking system. http://www.digg.com
StumbleUpon – A web browser plug-in that allows users to discover and rate web content, videos, and
images, and to “stumble upon new ones based on previous rankings and ratings by friends and users with
similar interests. http://www.stumbleupon.com
Mixx – All of the content is user-generated, which means that they don't have an editor who decides what
you should find interesting. They make it easy for you to submit stories, photos, videos—whatever you find
interesting, informative, different or fun. You can also see—and vote on—the stuff that other Mixxers submit.
http://mixx.com
Reddit - A social news website where users can post links to content on the web. Other users may then
vote the posted links up or down, causing them to appear more or less prominently on the Reddit home
page. http://reddit.com/

Search engines:
Mahalo - human powered search. Users submit sites and content managers approve/disapprove listings.
http://www.mahalo.com
Technorati - A search engine dedicated solely to indexing blogs, Technorati tracks the state of the
blogosphere, ranks blogs according to popularity, and lets bloggers see who is linking to them.
http://technorati.com/

Microblogging:
Flickr - A searchable social image sharing site that allows users to tag pictures with specific keywords and
descriptive terms http://www.flickr.com
Twitter - A social networking and microblogging service that allows users to post short updates (text-based
posts up to 140 characters long) through SMS text messaging, email, or the twitter website
http://www.twitter.com
Tumblr - Easily and quickly post and share anything you find or create. To make a simple analogy: If blogs
are journals, tumblelogs are scrapbooks. You can also look at tumblelogs as slightly more structured blogs
that make it easier, faster, and more fun to post and share stuff you find or create. Most tumblogs have no
comments. http://www.tumblr.com
Pownce – Send messages, files, links, and events to your friends. Create a network of friends and share
stuff. http://www.pownce.com

Blogs:
Movable Type – what we use in house to create all our blogs – http://movabletype.com/
Vox – Free hosted blog, that users need to log into comment on. http://www.vox.com
Wordpress – an alternative blogging platform to MT. http://wordpress.org/

Rss Reader:
Google Reader: http://www.google.com/reader
Bloglines: http://www.bloglines.com/

Start Page:
Netvibes - Lets individuals assemble all in one place their favorite websites, blogs, email accounts, social
networks, search engines, instant messengers, photos, videos, podcasts, widgets, and everything else they
enjoy on the Web. http://www.netvibes.com
Pageflakes - An easy way to discover and share your favorite things on the Web. Pageflakes has
thousands of widgets or modules including Facebook, a universal News Search, YouTube, Twitter, message
board, blog, and hundreds of RSS feeds to choose from. Design and create a page that you can have for
yourself or share with anyone you choose. http://www.pageflakes.com/

Events:
Upcoming – Upcoming is a community for discovering and sharing events. It can help you find stuff to do,
discover what your friends are doing, or let you keep private events online for your own reference.
http://www.upcoming.org

Child of Change

2009-08-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

Change has been the basis of my life. I was the oldest child of a career US Navy Father. I was born in Oakland, Ca and the following are the address since:

Keller St, Waynesville, NC
Norfolk, VA
Keller St, Waynesville, NC
C St, Ramey Air Force Base, Puerto Rico
V St, Ramey Air Force Base, Puerto Rico
Shelton St, Waynesville, NC
Off Base in Keflavik, Iceland
On Base at Air Base, Keflavik, Iceland
Montgomery County, Maryland
Hazelwood St, Waynesville, NC
Webster St, Men Riv , Charleston, SC
Pagoda Inn, Waukegan, IL
First Apartment, Waukegan, IL
35th St, Milwaukee, WI
Martha Washington Dr, Wawatosa, WI
Wilson Dr, Shorewood, Milwaukee, WI
74th Center St, Wawatosa, WI
Fulton St, Milwaukee, WI
Pryor Ave, Milwaukee, WI
27th Loomis Rd, Milwaukee, WI
Hyw 100 Loomis Rd, Milwaukee, WI
Witte Lane, Glendale, WI
Idaho St, Milwaukee, WI
4380 Pioneer Road, Cedarburg, WI.

This is 25 moves in 54 years, 13 schools, loss of 9 best friends, and17 jobs. This is the greatest gift a person can have or the most traumatic experience.

It didn’t take me long to adapt to change and the unknown. The turning point was in the third school, in the 2nd grade. At recess I realized I needed to go over to some girls who were jumping rope and asked if I could play with them. It was a positive experience as they said, “Come on and it is your turn to jump the rope.” After this I have never been afraid of taking the first step. I knew it will be O.K.

I learned social tolerance. In living outside the United States in other countries I experience different social norms and values. I learned not to fear different ways to eat, play, work, and worship. My Mother taught me that this is how they live and this is how we live…there is no right or wrong. I have taken this with me into my adult life where I live social tolerance. The only real test I have ever had is dealing with my South Baptist, Evangelical, Republican relatives! God Bless then and those who fear change.

The Web of Technology

2009-08-10T09:10:00.000-07:00

Today I created a blog, for what I don't know.

Years ago I re-entered the work place after a 12 hyades. In those 12 years I had totally missed out on the wave of technology and I almost stopped breathing. A warm hearted 20 something showed me how too enter my time into a computer. I had to embrace it or I wouldn't get paid. I promised myself that I would never be that far behind ever again.

I embraced email and then instant messaging and now it is social media.